I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions
when ur eating dinner at your friends house
and their parents start arguing
and you want to...
I truly go into housewife mode when im someones girlfriend like I will make...
When you make a reference and someone actually gets it
when you try to flick away a bug but it comes towards you instead
lollipops are so weird youre literally swallowing your own flavored saliva
when people are like “what’s toaster in english?”
me: it’s english already
person: oh right - toast, toaster, the toastest